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Blog, 2017-09-05 Dating Outside Your Race

When it comes to racism, there are still some shocking events every so often but the world has progressed massively over the past few decades. Today, we want to discuss the topic of interracial dating because I’ve always been comfortable dating outside my race while others haven’t and it’s interesting to see the two different groups. 

During my time as a single man, I would look at the many online profiles of women and check whether they would be happy to date outside their race. Overall, it ended as a 50/50 split between those who would and those who wouldn’t. From this, we could ask several questions but the one I’m going for is ‘does this make us closed-minded?’.

If my fiancee and I decide to go for a walk, people will stare at us. For the most part, this is probably a ‘how did he get so lucky’ stare but there’s clearly also a ‘wow, a mixed couple’ feeling to it. Before me, my divorced brother (more about dating and relationships after divorce) have married someone from a different race and they’ve had to put up with people staring and asking silly questions about their child. Personally, I think mixed race children are some of the best looking because they can pull the best features from both. 

During my dating days, ethnicity wasn't important to me because I was interested in a deep emotional connection. As a result, I dated women of all different races because…well, we’re all the same ultimately. Through it all, we just need somebody to share our days with and moan about work to after a long, hard day. Why can’t a person of a different race have the same values as you or I?

In my area growing up, I was the only child of color so teasing was common. Not only did I look different, my parents were different and I wore different clothes to most. However, I wouldn't change that upbringing for the world because I learned to adapt and I learned how to get along in society. Today, I’m comfortable spending my life with people different to myself and this is a basic skill many of us lack. Now, skin color is nothing but a color and it doesn’t define me. Like so many others, I won’t wear it on my sleeve.

When you look around society, it’s fair to say that mixed race couples are rare. For some reason, we all live in our own bubbles and have no wish to leave this bubble any time soon. I have several Indian friends who complain of racism and alienation but they don’t allow themselves to leave the comfort of their community and this is frustrating to watch. For me, I believe the majority of people are good and getting some conversations flowing would be a positive step towards earning mutual respect; it would help remove the notions.

My parents have got friends who have children in their 30s and none are married; in the East Indian culture, being unmarried by this age is rare. After having a conversation with my mother as to why they weren't married, she said the parents were struggling to find someone with a compatible astrological sign. When I heard this, I didn't know how to react so had to laugh. Why? Because we don’t get married on paper. In the past, I’ve dated people who were perfect for me…on paper; it just doesn’t work like this.

If we could all open our minds just a little more, I believe society will take a huge step forward; you might just be amazed at who walks into your life. 

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